


beyond the bones

by Mia_Zeklos



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Lack of Communication, M/M, Misunderstandings, Parabatai Bond, Post-Episode: s03e01 On Infernal Ground
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 20:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14088927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia_Zeklos/pseuds/Mia_Zeklos
Summary: Stuck between what feels necessary and what feelsright, Jace tries to explain his situation to Alec without putting him in danger. It goes about as well as expected.





	beyond the bones

**Author's Note:**

> /Title taken from [this song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvy_R3fTHQ4), because it just feels so fitting/
> 
> @darqueparabatai, happy (belated) birthday! I hope you had a great time and wish you all the best things! <33
> 
> A canon compliant Jalec fic? Scandalous. In present tense? Even more so. But I wanted to write something short and to the point; a resolution that's really more of a truce. Hopefully it manages to reach its goal. ;D

Jace finds his parabatai in one of the less frequented training halls, shooting arrows at one of the resident dummies so viciously that Jace can barely follow the movement. There’s a spark of recognition coming from his direction, but he doesn’t turn around; not even when Jace approaches him.

It’s difficult to read him, usually, despite their bond. The boundary they put between each other is somewhat of an unspoken rule ever since they’d got over the shock of just how _thorough_ the connection between them had turned out to be, but it hadn’t always stayed in place – not when they were at their most vulnerable.

And that is the case now, whether either of them would like to admit it or not. Jace still feels shaken after last night’s not-quite-dreams (the _knife_ is what comes to mind first and it’s the worst thing about it all – if he can’t feel safe in his own bed, then is there really a place where he can achieve that?), and he can feel Alec’s frustration coming off in waves. He’s not the only source of it, but it _is_ on the forefront of his mind now that he’s joined him and Jace takes another step towards him, unable to help himself.

“I’m sorry.”

He hadn’t meant to speak. Speaking had never fixed anything – not with Alec, anyway, because they rarely need the words in the first place – but it’s what feels right, so Jace soldiers on even when he doesn’t receive a response.

“I know you hate this, being kept in the dark.” Alec’s movements falter, now, until he finally turns to face him. “But I don’t think I have a choice. Not yet, but if you—”

“If you’re in danger, you can _tell_ me.” The admonishment is more weariness than anger and Alec drops his bow to the ground. “You know that, right? Whatever happened, it doesn’t matter. I can help you.”

“No.” It’s a frantic refusal and Jace isn’t really able to hide the desperation behind it. “I don’t want you involved in any of this. Just— I want you to know that I’m not in danger. I’m fine.” The lie falls easily even if Alec narrows his eyes at the pang of guilt that follows afterwards. “Or— I’m going to be.” _I hope._ “You have more than enough on your mind; you don’t need to deal with this too.”

“It would be much easier to _deal with this_ if you could tell me what’s wrong.” He’s at least somewhat less anxious now, and the only reason Jace can tell the difference is because he’s closed himself off yet again.

“I’ll tell you if I think I can’t handle it.” It’s as much of a truth as he can afford, but this time, it’s sincere – the pain and the nightmares had been one thing, but if he started being a threat outside of his visions too, it would be his only choice. “How’s that sound?”

“Better than nothing.” Alec’s smile is sardonic, but it does reach his eyes and when his parabatai wraps his arms around him, it feels like the only natural solution in a universe that's stopped making sense quite a while ago. 

Alec _understands_ , even if he wishes he didn’t have to, and Jace breathes a sigh of relief. _This_ , he realises. Even if all else fails, this is the only safe place in the world.


End file.
